紅樓夢拾（第十六回、第二十七回）

〈紅樓夢拾〉（第十六回）

（夢拾者，夢中拾荒是也。荒也者，無言，不成謊；無心，故不慌也。）

早見六宮都太監夏守忠乘馬而至，前後左右又有許多內監跟從。那夏守忠也並不曾負詔捧敕，至檐前下馬，滿面笑容，走至廳上，南面而立，口內說：「特旨：立刻宣賈政入朝，在臨敬殿陛見。」說畢，也不及吃茶，便乘馬去了。

一、「滿面笑容」：俗語有云「入門莫問榮榮枯事，觀看容顏便得知」。
二、「也不及吃茶」：就是說，太監來宣旨，通常不止光「吃茶」那麼簡單。

霍克思英譯：

Soon Xia Bing-zhong, the Eunuch Master of the Bedchamber, arrived on horseback with a retinue of eunuchs at his back. He appeared to have no Imperial Proclamation or other document on his person, for instead of dismounting, as etiquette prescribed that he should if he was carrying a Written Instrument, he rode straight on to the foot of the main hall. There, with beaming countenance, he got down from his horse, climbed the steps, faced south and gave utterance to the following announcement:

‘By order of His Imperial Majesty:
Jia Zheng is commanded to present himself at court immediately for private audience with His Imperial Majesty in the Hall of Reverence.’

Having delivered this message he got straight back on to his horse without staying for so much as a cup of tea and rode away.

按：夏太監名為Xia Bing-zhong，則「夏秉忠」，據「紅樓夢網路教學研究中心」，此為「程本及原人文通行本」之名。林以亮《紅樓夢西遊記》指霍譯「原文大體上根據程乙本」，並謂此乃其譯的「最大缺點」。

「那夏守忠也並不曾負詔捧敕，至檐前下馬⋯⋯走至廳上」一段，英譯極為詳盡，能給英語讀者指出假若「負詔捧敕」的話，原來的宣旨又會是怎樣的一個模樣。

楊氏夫婦英譯：

Soon Xia Shouzhong the Chief Eunuch arrived on horseback, followed by a considerable retinue of eunuchs. He was not carrying an Imperial Edict, however. Having alighted in front of the main hall, he mounted the steps with a beaming smile and, facing south, announced:
“By special order of the Emperor, Jia Zheng is to present himself at once for an audience in the Hall of Respectful Approach.” This said, without even taking a sip of tea, he remounted his horse and rode off.

楊譯在字面上相當緊貼其源文，而"he mounted the steps"一句則表達了太監要先踏幾級階梯，才進到廳內。

〈紅樓夢拾〉（第二十七回：笑黛玉冷笑之限

賈母因看見有個赤金點翠的麒麟，便伸手拿了起來，笑道：「這件東西好象我看見誰家的孩子也帶著這麼一個的。」寶釵笑道：「史大妹妹有一個，比這個小些。」賈母道：「是雲兒有這個。」寶玉道：「他這麼往我們家去住著，我也沒看見。」探春笑道：「寶姐姐有心，不管什麼他都記得。」林黛玉冷笑道：「他在別的上還有限，惟有這些人帶的東西上越發留心。」寶釵聽說，便回頭裝沒聽見。

淺評：心可虛之若谷，亦能細若塵蟎。寶釵之笑雖帶三分炫耀，但其言其笑畢竟只為潤談助興；探春之笑有驚訝，也有欣羨；唯黛玉之冷笑卻只見其小家子氣，其回應藏鋒而涼薄——但尖酸也說不上。如說寶釵真的僅在他人所帶之物上留心，別方面才能有限，那麼黛玉對寶釵「有限之心」之上心，則更是「限上有限」了。恨者，心之艮也，心有限，故有恨。

霍克思英譯：

Her attention was taken by a little red-gold kylin with kingfisher-feather inlay. She stretched out her hand to take it.

‘Now where have I seen something like this before?’ she said. ‘I feel certain I’ve seen some girl wearing an ornament like this.’

‘Cousin Shi’s got one,’ said Bao-chai. ‘It’s the same as this one only a little smaller.’

‘Funny!’ said Bao-yu. ‘All the times she’s been to our house, I don’t remember ever having seen it.’

‘Cousin Ban is observant,’ said Tan-chun. ‘No matter what it is, she remembers everything.’

‘Well, perhaps not quite everything,’ said Dai-yu wryly. ‘But she’s certainly very observant where things like this are concerned.’

Bao-chai turned her head away and pretended not to have heard.

楊氏夫婦英譯：

Her eye was struck by a gold unicorn decorated with turquoise enamel, which she picked up.

"I'm sure I've seen something like this on one of the girls," she remarked.

"Cousin Xiangyun has one like that, only a little smaller," Baochai told her.

"So that's it!" exclaimed the Lady Dowager.

"All this time she's been staying with us, how come I've never no­ticed it?" asked Baoyu.

"Cousin Baochai's observant," chuckled Tanchun. "She never for­gets anything either."

"She's not so observant about other things," remarked Daiyu cuttingly. "But she's most observant about other people's trinkets."

Baochai turned away and pretended not to have heard.

霍譯把赤金點翠麒麟譯作red-gold kylin with kingfisher-feather inlay，「赤金」當指純金，霍譯之失，一如張系國於《星雲組曲》〈翻譯絕唱〉引林以亮「赤腳大仙」非雙腳紅色的仙人之言 。kingfisher即翠鳥，此譯可使英語讀者（和中文讀者）了解「點翠」為麒麟（鱗甲？）之色。楊氏譯之gold unicorn decorated with turquoise enamel，turquoise enamel即綠松石顏色的瓷釉或亮漆，其譯著重麒麟上色的方法特色，唯unicorn一詞太過西化，獨角獸在西方的聯想與中國略有不同，獨角獸在西方象徵純潔，麒麟則是大吉之兆，中國亦有「麟兒」之說。

賈母「便伸手拿了起來」一語，霍譯盡譯此句，楊譯則以which she picked up接連上句，非常簡潔，個人較喜愛楊譯。其後的「是雲兒有這個」，霍氏略過不譯，楊氏夫婦則譯為"So that's it!" exclaimed the Lady Dowager. 又感嘆號、又exclaim，這樣的賈母未免太過激動。

「寶玉道：『他這麼往我們家去住著，我也沒看見。』」一語，楊氏將之譯成問句，亦不甚妥。寶玉確有訝異，但卻非要問誰以求個答案，此處言談，不過是賈母等人閒話家常而已。至於把黛玉的「冷笑」譯為 remarked…cuttingly，cutting解作傷感情，牛津英語辭典有cutting remark之例，然remark一詞畢竟略為著跡，霍譯則作said wryly。按辭典wry亦有wry smile之詞例，而wry一詞有「笑起來帶着諷刺」（amusing in a way that shows irony）之釋，此釋頗貼黛玉之冷笑。紅樓夢的「笑道」意味深長，自成「笑道」，且看日後兩方大譯家如何一一拆之。